Handling Personal Attacks

Question

So a brand new member posted a way off-topic question and I voted to close. https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/40615/personification-of-depression

I commented:

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because while there is a core of a question there, the author states "l hope that this could be used in a healthy manner to try to get some stuff of your minds, but also trying to just having fun with the idea and learn from each other." And this is not what Writing.SE is for. If you edit this into a specific question about writing a character with depression, I'll consider voting to reopen.

The author quickly replied with (I'm using spoiler marking because it's filled with cursing and I don't know what the rules about that are in this SE):

Just because you don't know how to answer my post, doesn't mean that it should be closed just like that. I'm just trying to start a creative discussion related to writing on a webpage related to writing. So what the fuck is wrong with my question? Is this fucking site only meant to suit a certain type of people? Also, l'm not writing about a character with depression you moron! Read the fucking question before you decide to comment! Just because you have a much bigger reputation here than me, doesn't give you the right to tell everyone else what kind of content they can talk about! Fuck you

He then deleted the entire post. I can still see the comment and the whole post, maybe because I had commented? I don't think I have enough rep to see all deleted posts. (Note: I found out about it because my inbox showed his comment to me.)

Anyway, I'm more amused than insulted, though, had he not removed it, I would have flagged it as abusive. Perhaps things would have gone better had my comment come after a moderator welcomed him to the SE, but I don't think my comment was especially mean (and even if it was, it doesn't justify the response).

So what's the protocol here? He still has an account and can still post and answer and (probably soon) comment. Since the post has disappeared, he won't get any feedback about how inappropriate his behavior is or how his original post wasn't right for Writing.SE. (He clearly understood his comment was not okay at least.) He probably doesn't know that I saw the comment or that some others can as well.

As someone who is reasonably new here myself, but building up rep and working towards being a member who takes on more responsibility as I acquire rep, I'd like to learn more about the culture of moderation here. I'm not really looking for ways I could have been "nicer." My question is more, what happens now?

Answer 1

Flags are the best way to raise awareness. If it's deleted (as in this case) but you're concerned, please do err on the side of letting mods know somehow.

Sometimes somebody posts something in {haste, heat, frustration}, realizes it was inappropriate, and deletes it. If it happens once, then lesson presumably learned and we move on. But if there's a pattern of this -- yes, sometimes people leave rude comments long enough to hit your inbox and then delete to try to hide the evidence -- then that's something we want to know about. Since you don't know what else the person has written that's now deleted, better to speak up and have it turn out to be nothing than to say nothing and find out you're one of a dozen people who made the same decision independently.

You won't generally know the outcome of flags like these (beyond seeing stuff get deleted, if it was live on the site when you flagged it), but you'll see that it was handled (or that it's still pending). You can see your flags (and responses from moderators) on your profile "Activity" page in that box of stats in the upper right corner (click on the flag count).

Answer 2

You can see the question because you have the access to moderator tools privilege (which includes the ability to view deleted posts) and you have a way to it (via your inbox, and I suspect also via your comment and vote histories).

So what's the protocol here?

Flag it for moderator attention.

Generally, whenever you see something that violates the Code of Conduct, flag it for moderator attention, and disengage.

We'll handle it from there. Exactly which action a moderator takes in response to a flag is decided on a case-by-case basis, but I can assure you that every flag is looked at. (The one exception to this would be flags which are auto-handled by the system.)

I don't know if you can flag on a deleted post with one of the rudeness-related flag reasons, but you certainly should be able to raise a custom flag.

Answer 3

What happens now? We consider how we can do BETTER next time.

I don't see why you voted to close, or why you ignored site warnings about replying and commenting on 1st-time posts. Those warning are there to prevent this exact situation.

The "core question" (as you put it) is perfectly clear: creating a character as the personification of depression. It's an unusual question, but character-building is certainly on-topic for Writing, and the topic is clearly indicated in the title.

The question is not a "What if…?" and it's not too broad. It's about Writing and character-building, the tags are spot-on for the subject: an antagonist that personifies depression in non-fiction creative writing.

If you could "see the core question" why did you vote to close rather than help a 1st-time poster to re-state his question clearer?

You seemed to have voted to close because you didn't like the motive behind the question, rather than the question itself. Yet you offered no advice how the question could be made "more" on topic, your comment didn't make any effort to reshape the question to better "fit" (in your opinion). You made no constructive suggestions. He was a 1st-time poster who won't be back, and it's because of the way you mishandled his first interaction on the site.

imho, You were wrong to vote to close. It's your close vote that is off topic, and seems "final" – you simply allow no room for discussion, or that you could be wrong so can he clarify.... Maybe the OP invited it by adding "tmi" but I don't see how that invalidated the clearly stated question/topic.

You decided the question shouldn't be here because you didn't care for a small un-essential sentence or two about how he hopes the question will be received. Was that necessary?